Sloppy Firsts (Jessica Darling #1)

When I was a teen a did very little reading of books from the teen section, which I now inhabit on a regular basis, because I like to do the unexpected. Anyway, one of the exceptions I made was Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCafferty, which I remember totally loving. Also, I remember being disappointed by the sequel (or sequels, as I really do not remember how far I read). Having reread this, I commend my younger self for liking this one, but I am unsurprised that my love was short-lived, because I liked happy, escapist reads and this is not that.

Oddly, I do not remember this book having a profound impact on my teen self, which is ridiculous, because Jessica Darling is a heroine I relate to even now, in my dotage. She's intelligent, way more studious than I ever was. She uses her intelligence to be a smart-Alec and to over-think everything (hey, soul sister!). I love the way she thinks about everything, because the way she delves into minor details and thinks herself into an endless cycle of worry is completely identifiable. Her constant mental whirlwind reminds me a lot of the Ruby Oliver books by E. Lockhart, though those are a bit on the lighter side tone-wise.

The writing is pitch perfect, capturing the personality of Jessica Darling. Her mental landscape is a very familiar place, and it's frankly terrifying how much I still identify with so far as her insecurities go. Those easily offended by swearing or the use of terms like 'ho' or 'hoochie' will probably be offended by a lot of what Jessica writes in her journal, but McCafferty's not making a statement with those things. This is how a lot of teens talk and think, and she uses these words not to be shocking but to be real. I love watching Jessica evolve throughout, working through things and changing opinions she previously held based on new information.

As with many contemporary teen novels, Sloppy Firsts focuses on popularity and friendship in high school. Jessica's best friend, Hope, has moved away, leaving her to navigate the social minefield of high school alone. Now, Jessica's actually in a pretty popular crowd, but she does not feel any less alone, because, really, she hates their guts. If she left she would have no one, and she's not brave enough for that (and, honey, let me tell you, not having friends is worse). Where most stories would be about embracing your true self and finding perfect happiness as a result, a group of kindred spirits appearing to embrace you, Sloppy Firsts isn't. The themes of being true to yourself are, but sometimes your kindred spirit moved away or just doesn't exist, and it's sad but true. However, she does find that maybe things aren't so bad as she thought they were, too, in that she can be more connected, even if the people here aren't Hope.

Romantic relationships and sex are also a huge part of the novel. Most of Jessica's 'friends' are very sexually active, whether they've done the deed or not. Jessica has had just one (really gross) kiss. Teen sex lives are very openly discussed, and I love McCafferty's frank attitude towards this topic. I'm especially impressed since the book came out in 2000, not in the more permissive current YA landscape. Way to go, McCafferty.

The Darling parents receive quite a bit of focus as well. They are present parents, but highly flawed ones. Due to the death of her brother from SIDS before her birth, they're both emotionally damaged. Her mother spends all of her energy planning Bethany's (Jess' much older sister) wedding. Jess' father only cares about her as an athlete, raising her like the son he didn't get to keep. Jessica struggles with her parents' treatment of her, feeling inferior both to the living and departed sibling. Their familial relationships ache with honesty and miscommunication, as well as naturally disparate personalities.

Marcus Flutie. If you mention this book to anyone who's read it, their first response will invariably be something like this, "MARCUS FLUTIE!!!! WAZZAHHHHH!" Now, I remembered Marcus Flutie vaguely. Basically, I recalled that he eventually becomes the love interest, but that's about it. Imagine my surprise when he's a drug-doing guy with dreads. That threw some serious cold water on my memory. If the book has any weakness at all (a point I'm undecided on, so I'm going for the full rating because this book is really good), it's how quickly Jessica becomes obsessed with Marcus when he's Krispy Kreme, when there's no way I could crush on a guy like that. However, I am not Jessica, and she lives her life in fantasies, so, on a lot of levels, that really makes sense. He pays attention to her, even an irritating non-flattering sort of attention, when she feels incredibly alone. Thankfully, Marcus does evolve as a character, because he's super icky at first. I'm not fully sold on him yet, but I am desperate to find out what happens next because that ending was mean.

What Left Me Wanting More:
More Jessica Darling? I am all for that. Thank goodness there are four more books and a prequel series in my future.

The Final Verdict:
You've probably heard of the Jessica Darling books by now, but, if you haven't, I highly recommend giving them a try. Sloppy Firsts is daring, funny, sad, thought-provoking, and unflinchingly honest. If you enjoy E. Lockhart's Ruby Oliver books, you most definitely need to read Megan McCafferty.