But I Love Him

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Author(s)

Amanda Grace

Publisher

Flux

Genre(s)

General Fiction

Age Range

14+

Release Date

May 08, 2011

ISBN

9780738725949

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Sometimes at night, I wake up and stare at the heart for hours. I think of how I collected each piece from the beach, how I glued it all together into one big sculpture. I wonder if Connor realizes what it means, that he'll always have a piece of me no matter what happens. Each piece of glass is another piece of myself that I gave to him.

It's too bad I didn't keep any pieces for myself.

At the beginning of senior year, Ann was a smiling, straight-A student and track star with friends and a future. Then she met a haunted young man named Connor. Only she can heal his emotional scars; only he could make her feel so loved - and needed. Ann can't recall the pivotal moment it all changed, when she surrendered everything to be with him, but by graduation, her life has become a dangerous high wire act. Just one mistake could trigger Connor's rage, a senseless storm of cruel words and violence damaging everything - and everyone - in its path.

This evocative slideshow of flashbacks reveals a heartbreaking story of love gone terribly wrong.

It's too bad I didn't keep any pieces for myself.

This evocative slideshow of flashbacks reveals a heartbreaking story of love gone terribly wrong.

Editor reviews

2 reviews

Gripping tale of an abusive relationship

May 19, 2011

Overall rating

4.0

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How did Ann get to this point? Lying on the apartment floor, she feels like the shattered glass around her--broken. She really did love Connor. So why did he hurt her? BUT I LOVE HIM shows us the year long relationship that transforms Ann from a happy A-student, track star and popular student to an abused woman who gives everything to Conner, who leaves her with nothing.

I really loved how the author begins this realistic and haunting tale of an abusive relationship. It's unique as it starts at the end of the year relationship and works backwards in time. The reader sees bit by bit how Ann spirals into a relationship that is both dangerous and abusive. We see how little things like a hurtful comment and possessive behavior might not show themselves until later in the relationship. Also the whole 'but-I-can-help-him' way of thinking can only end out badly. No one can 'change' a person. Unfortunately Ann finds that out the hard way.

We also see that there's more to Conner then just anger issues. Conner is a victim of abuse from his own father. The author makes a very good point, Conner still chose whether or not he would abuse someone too.

Intense and power punched with emotion, this book really spoke to me. I also loved how the author showed the reactions of those around Ann. Abby, her best friend, knows that Conner is treating Ann badly but she knows there is really nothing she can do unless Ann admits there is a problem. Blake tries to reach out but is shunned. And Ann's mother tries to critize Conner, which only makes Ann want him even more.

As a survivor of abuse, the images of Conner and his treatment of Ann rang very true to me. The author nails it right on the mark by showing how an abuser tries to isolate his victim from others to the whole 'private' self he only shows a few people.

This book is a must read for those who have ever been in an abusive relationship and for those who know of others who are in one. Powerfully written, this book offers something some books on abuse don't usually do, it shows that there is hope.

Kim Baccellia, Staff Reviewer Top 10 Reviewer 889 reviews

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1 review

Overall rating

4.3

Plot

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Characters

4.0(1)

Writing Style

5.0(1)

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But I Love Him

April 08, 2013

Overall rating

4.3

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Wow. I read this through in one sitting; I just could not put it down. I’m not really sure where to start this review. I could start at the beginning, which is really the end, since the book starts off with the night everything went to hell. Everything in the apartment is smashed and broken, including Ann’s wrist. Connor has disappeared in a fit of rage. It’s obvious there’s been a fight, but it’s not clear how they got to that point. That’s what the rest of the book is dedicated to. It goes backwards through their year together leading up to that night.

I think choosing to set up the story this way was a wise choice. It was much more interesting seeing how things got started, rather than the typical how things end up. We see things go from worse to better for Ann and Connor, but somehow their relationship seems to get even more unhealthy the further back we go. That’s probably because we know how it ends up and can see the warning signs from the beginning. First impressions are not everything. Things started out innocent enough: picnics, bowling, board games. But way too fast they entered their own little world and became everything to each other and things just went downhill.

Occasionally, the past events are interrupted by that climatic night, and we see more of the aftermath of what he has done to her. Ann went from bubbly, and excited about life, to completely and utterly broken. It was so sad seeing how her life drastically changed because of one boy. It was even sadder how she judged Conner’s mom for staying with his abusive dad, even though she was doing the exact same thing: thinking he’ll change and she can fix him, and hoping next time will be different. Well, next time will be different; it’ll be worse.

Angie F. Top 100 Reviewer 87 reviews

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Review From Blkosiner's Book Blog

September 17, 2011

On one hand, I really enjoyed and sped through But I Love Him, but on the other, I still have reservations.
I think that the positive part is definitely the winner though because this is an issue that is near to my heart, and it is really hard to tackle it in a way that will suit everyone. But a book like this has a very powerful message that women all around need to hear and remember. It's easy to say, that's where I would walk away... but it's not that simple. And the way that Ms. Hubbard/Grace did it in reverse order, where it wasn't so easy to pin an exact moment that the reader can point to, because when you're in it, in love, that moment is just as unclear.
I really like the character of Abby, it is the definition of a true friend, and I like the characterization of Ann. Sometimes we have the kick ass heroines, and it's good to admire that, but I think that Ann is more of what you find in real life--with real strengths, and with all too real weaknesses.