Review Detail

I can sum up this review in four words and some exclamation points: vampire slayer were-unicorn awesomeness!!! You need more information than that? Well, if you insist…

Meet Pearl: 16 years old, vampire, has a taste for mint chocolate chip ice cream, and doesn’t believe in unicorns. At least until she gets staked by one in an alley. Somehow she makes it back home, where her highly eccentric family is waiting for her. Unfortunately, they don’t believe Pearl’s crazy unicorn story. Pearl returns to the scene of the crime, where she’s then kidnapped (not by the unicorn), and soon discovers that she now has a reflection and can go out in full sunlight. She spends a whole day roaming the city and misses her lessons back at home. Then her parents bestow the worst punishment imaginable on poor Pearl…high school! Dun dun dun!!!

I really enjoyed Pearl’s transformation from having a better-than-thou attitude towards humans, to actually befriending them and caring about their feelings. Zeke and Matt, wanna-be vampire hunters, are hilarious! I want to be friends with them! Evan is a sweetheart, if a little odd, and is so much better than Pearl’s jerk of a boyfriend, Jadrien. Although I did like him, since how can you not like someone who says things like “I’ll compare your eyes to stars, your lips to rubies, and your breath to industrial-strength air freshener.”

I absolutely adored the author’s writing style. It’s easy and light. The dialogue is hilarious and there’s plenty of quote-worthy material:

“I saw a My Little Pony refugee. Horselike. Kind of glowy. Big sharp horn. It looked as if it had jumped off a poster from the bedroom of an eight-year-old girl. It walked toward me. I mocked it. It stabbed me. Chalk this one up as my most embarrassing moment ever.“

“The Titanic labeled ‘unsinkable’ is ironic. Your skirt is just short.“

“In fact, the existence of said heart i s open for debate, given the whole no-pulse thing, which, by the way, I’ve never understood, because how does the lovely, delicious blood travel through our body if we don’t have a pulse? Maybe I’ll eat a scientist someday and ask him.“

“It won’t last forever. Nothing does. Not even Spam.“

I had to stop jotting down specially selected quotes after about page 80 or else they’d take over this review, but I’m sure you get the point. This book was so much fun, so quirky, unique and just loveable! Easily one of my new favorites. I’m just sad it’s not a series…