If He Had Been with Me

I would read it over and over again. This would be an amazing movie tbh

This book was the best book I've read in a really long time. It had so many touching moments.

If He Had Been With Me was on my 'can't wait' list for months and I couldn't resist and read it the moment I got my hands on it. I started reading in the morning and didn't put it down until I was done crying because I had a feeling someone stabbed me in the heart even though the book started with the most unpleasant thing than can happen. I chose to ignore it. There was just no way the story would go there. Well, I cried for a long time.

Autumn used to be friends with her first door neighbor, Finn but after middle school she becomes very popular and they grow apart. Now in high school, Autumn is a part of a gang who are different from other students. They dress differently, listen to cool music, change their hair colors, well you get the picture. Finn is a hangin with the popular crowd-cheerleaders and football players and they ignore each other all the time except it's hard since their mothers are really close friends and they even eat together.

Even though Finn and Autumn are not friends any more she can help but think about the time they spent together so we get to read about their childhood memories. Finn is such a sweet guy and is a devoted friend so I couldn't help but cheer for him to end up with Autumn even though they were both dating other people. Autumn is also battling with depression which she ignores as a winter blues. Her boyfriend is not really helpful in that department so Finn is there to make it all better. Finn's dad is also never around but he tries to buy his affection with expensive gifts. Both characters need each other to move on from their issues but disaster strikes and everything changes.

I love to read heartbreaking stories because they make me feel alive. Make me see life in another light. I will bore my friends to pick this book up until they block me. I urge you to buy it. It's worth the money. Yes! I know you want to read it. So what are you waiting for?

This book could have been so extremely epic. But there were so many things preventing it from being that. It took me couple days just to sit down and figure out how to word the review without turning it into a rant. Yes, I am just THAT mad at this.
When I first read the synopsis I was super excited to read this. And then looking at the cover I could almost feel the grief radiating off of it. But when I opened it and read the first few pages, I was disappointed in the writing. And when I say disappointed, I don't mean in a little bit. The writing in this book is bad. Like really bad. The only reason I continued reading it is because I was hoping it got better at the climax of the story. At one point I had half a mind to DNF it, but I really wanted to know how the ending would be. My curiosity was the only thing that saved it.
Another thing I didn't like was the characters. Like the way Autumn was so dependent on her friends and boyfriend. She felt like there was no way her and Finny could be friends (even though they knew each other since birth) and she wouldn't do anything without their permission. And then there was how childish she was. The book goes over memories from elementary school, middle school, and high school and it seemed like they were all the same. None of them showed any growth in her besides the fact that she didn't want to be friends with Finny anymore. It was weird. She still seemed as if she was in middle school the entire time. And Finny? He was just unrealistic to me.
The biggest thing that I hated about this, was the fact that there wasn't much feeling. To say that this book is about death, I really felt it was going to be a tear jerker, but I found my self just shrugging and saying "Oh, he's gone." I really expected to be in heavy tears. And not only then. There was graduation and the breakup too where I didn't feel any type of emotion from the writing. It was just another moment in the book to me. Until the very end. And when I say very end I mean at 95%. If it had been like that the entire book, I would have liked this soooooo much more.
Lastly, because the characters weren't the most exciting and the emotional connection wasn't there, the whole book just seemed a little drawn out. I mean when they graduated high school you would think it would end there,but it didn't. It was drawn out until the end of that summer where there was nothing really going on. It took everything in me not to skim to where the story will pick up. And when it finally did, it was over. I hated the ending. I wanted to know the answer to the final question. I'm guessing its implied but still.....
In short, there was so much I was expecting out of this, but it just didn't live up to what I had in mind for it. I really wish I liked it a lot more than I did because I was really hoping to. Hopefully you all will like it more than I did.