Review Detail

I was seriously impressed by Emily Murdoch’s debut novel. In fact, I think it is the strongest that I have read this year.

The book is not perfect by any means. The romance was a bit awkward and just a little too smooth (and perhaps even unnecessary) for my liking but that was a minor issue. Everything else though, was absolutely amazing.

I am always wary of realistic novels because they often deal with difficult subjects that I usually dive into the fiction world to avoid. The themes are dark and pain is a prerequisite. They call it “problem novels” in some circles (usually accompanied by a sneer or an unflattering twist of the lips). What made If You Find Me stand out for me was not just the premise but how completely Murdoch was able to immerse herself in Carey’s voice and world. World building, as my writing professor pointed out, is not just limited to fantasy. It is an essential part of any story whether it be set in a fantastic world or the real one. Carey’s voice never wavers, never slips – it is always Carey with her flaws, hesitations and thousand and one issues.

The other thing that impressed the hell out of me was Murdoch’s use of “dialect” to separate Carey and create her as an outsider in her community. It is so gracefully done without any explicit narrative necessary to paint Carey as different. All she needs to do is think in the way (in the language) that comes naturally to her and the reader will see her as separate and distinct. Very well done.

Another beautiful aspect of this novel was the relationship between the two sisters. It was heart wrenching and heartwarming. Their interactions served to speak volumes about their characters without actually saying anything. Even the resident mean girl has a story and motivation and their relationship is not black and white but rather complex and layered.

Also refreshing is the binary portrayal of parents in this novel. The mother is beyond horrible and there were moments when I was choked by grief or anger or both at the atrocious things Carey’s mother did to them. The way Carey’s father is portrayed is masterful. First the reader approaches him with the same distrust and caution Carey does and then, gradually, as Carey warms to him so do the readers. Kinda like sitting in the dark just before dawn and watching the sun come up and slowly illuminate everything.

I couldn’t understand the purpose of making Carey beautiful. Is there some kind of subtext that I am not getting or is it to say that beautiful things and people emerge from horrible surroundings and people? I am not sure. I could come up with a dozen other explanations but I am just going to let it go without thinking too much about it. The ending is beautiful but it did make me feel a bit anxious because I am not sure what happens to Carey and I need her to have a happy ending. Wendy told me that the paperback copy will have an epilogue that spells things out but that will be a long wait unless the author takes pity on us and release it as an e-copy.

In conclusion, I strongly recommend this title. Grab a box of tissues, a cup of tea and snuggle up. It might make your list of best books of the year. I know it made mine.