Keep Holding On

When I read the description for /Keep Holding On/ I couldn't help but think I'd be left annoyed by Noelle and her decisions. Sometimes I did just want to grab her by the shoulders and tell her like it is, but she had a friend that did a pretty good job of it, so I understood where she was coming from in those instances even more. Instead of being super annoyed with Noelle, my heart went out to her.

I went to a small school that didn't really have any bullying. When I say small, I'm talking pre-K through 12 in one building. There was a few groups of outcasts, of course, but for the most part, everyone was either friendly or indifferent to each other. So, I've never experienced anything like what Noelle went through. I can't even fathom the cruelty she dealt with. She skipped lunches at school for fear of the torture that'd be inflicted on her because of how poor she was. And her home life was no better. I honestly hated her mother. She was cruel to Noelle in every way possible: yelled at her for simple things, blamed her or their poor situation, rarely fed her or kept any food in the house, and even stole her money. I was itching to call child services despite the fact that it was, you know, fictional...

And then there's Matt. Stupid, idiot Matt. Anyone could see how crappy of a guy he was, but after so many years of torture and being ignored by nearly everyone around her, Noelle can't help but be pulled in by all the attention. Well, the secret attention. Every time she explained his secrecy away I just wanted to go "Oh, honey.."

It hurt to see her go through all that when she really wanted Julian anyway I hated seeing her push him away just because she was disappointed in her life and thought she wasn't worth it.

/Keep Holding On/ is my first Colasanti book, but it definitely won't be my last. She handles bullying in a way that made me want to get up and do something to change it. I felt for Noelle so much and the thought of real life kids dealing with that stuff makes my heart hurt.

The Nutshell: /Keep Holding On/ was not the story about a stupid girl who can't see what's best for her that I expected. Colasanti pulls out the big guns with bullying and really makes you feel for Noelle. If you're in for a story about a girl with a tough life and her journey towards loving and respecting herself then you'll love /Keep Holding On/.

Hit

Keep Holding On is the first novel by Susane Colasanti I've ever read, and I have a feeling it won't be the last. It's not the best book I've read this year, by a long shot, but it contains something special that I can barely put name to. It was powerful, relatable on various different levels. And more than anything, this book has meaning.

Bullying is something I have absolutely zero experience with. I am a lucky teenager, because the majority can't say that. But even though I've never been bullied, I can relate to this book in ways I never even realized. Like, feeling like you're not good enough. There are always people out there waiting to belittle you, make you feel like you're not worth the air you breathe. That's something Noelle, the protagonist, battles a lot with. Another thing I can relate to is feeling gross. I know this is weird, but I think everyone understands. I'm pretty sure everyone has something about them where they think, "If anybody found out about this, they'd probably never talk to me again." Susane Colasanti really gives us a glimpse behind the scenes of people that most books overlook. The cringe-worthy stuff. The things that make people more than rainbows and unicorns.

Noelle was a character I enjoyed reading about, but didn' necessarily love. She is constantly bullied. The kids at school call her rotten eggs, they make fun of her scarce lunch, and they push her around. And the primary reason they pick on her so relentlessly is because she is poor. How sad is that? Tormented for something she can't even control? Sure, she did her best to hide the worst parts of her life, but she could only manage to thinly veil them. So, ya know, I really did feel for her. I wanted so badly to tell everybody that messed with her to EFF OFF. And I admired that she gathered the courage to get dressed and go to school every morning, that she didn't give up. She was strong in that way, but she was also crippled by her fear. When others were getting bullied, she was too scared to be there for them. She thought that if she stood up for them, or even if she just provided a shoulder to cry on, the bullies would just target her more. I get it, I do. But I didn't like it. Then there is Julian. He wants to be an architect, the kind who designs crazy houses with trees coming out of them and stuff. He is a total sweetheart throughout the novel, even when he was hurt by Noelle's actions. He is always fighting for Noelle and defending her. He knows what she is going through, and he doesn't care. He just wants to be with her and be there for her. The dude even designs Noelle's dream house for her. He is amazing and nonjudgmental.
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There's a balance of awful and fabulous secondary characters. Sherae and Simon are Noelle's good friends. And when I say good, I mean the best! They are there for her through everything, even when she doesn't realize it. They try to do things for her in ways she won't realize because they don't want to embarrass her. Like Simon always buys Noelle lunch because he knows there's no food in her fridge. Sherae puts these gift baskets together with things Noelle really needs like socks and whatnot. Simon was probably my favorite character, with his wacky fashion sense and passion for the school newspaper, but Sherae reminds me a lot of my friends. I can't even count the number of times my friends have been willing to buy stuff and pay for me when I had no money on me. Noelle is luck to have such great people in her life, but she also has to deal with people like her mother, who is a horrid creature. She blames Noelle for everything bad in her life. She hardly feeds her daughter, and does nothing but complain. She's utterly awful and it is difficult for me to fathom that there are actually parents out there like her.

The ending left me with a smile on my face and a satisfied hum in my belly. Things aren't perfect for Noelle, but they're looking up. The growth in this novel is tremendous. Noelle is beginning to realize that she deserves happiness. Her friends have learned more about her life and of course they're more willing than ever to be there for her. Even her horrible mother is making an effort. So there's no shiny ribbon tied in a perfect bow, but it's better that way.

I'd recommend this book to anyone. Like I said, it's not the best book in the entire universe, but I can almost guarantee everybody can take something away from it. It is definitely worth the read.

I went into Keep Holding On with only the knowledge that it was a book about bullying and that Susane Colasanti wrote it. I was expecting it to be a light read, like some of the other books I have read by her. Quick and easy to get through. With a heartwarming ending and a life lesson.

I’ve never read a book focused mainly on bullying, especially one that is so heart breaking. Well, unless you count a Courtney Summers book, but I expect that going into one of her books. (It’s why I read her stuff! Make me cry, Courtney!)
At some parts of this book I was cringing, and felt like I couldn’t read further. It was deep and rough, and Noelle made me hurt like crazy.

Let me say this, I have never been a victim of bullying. There was also never any bullying going on at the high school I went to, that I could see anyways. It was an extremely small school. I graduated with 56 people in my class. And I do not live in an “expensive” town like the characters in this book. If you didn’t like someone, you just ignored them. Easy as that. Even now, 3 years after high school and we still ignore each other when we see them on the streets or at the grocery store. Some things never change.

But this Carly chick in the book is fucking crazy. I have never witnessed someone so openly vile, especially not in real life.
I wanted to scream at Noelle to just say something back to her. When she finally does, it is way over do.
Personally, I do not think they handled that situation the right way.

There was no need to call Carly out on her drunk ass mom. That’s almost just as bad as what she was doing to Noelle. And Carly was right; Noelle was not the only one with problems.
But, Carly’s actions are in no way justified just because her home life is bad. She should just needs to find another place to put her pain. Another medium. Throw it into something productive instead of bullying.

With that being said, I hate that some of the characters in this book (and outside of it) are affected by their home life. Something that they really have a limited control over. It’s not fair that they let it define how they think of themselves. It really breaks my heart into a million pieces.

That’s why this book was so hard to get through. I felt helpless to any of the fictional characters. But Susane gave me that life lesson at the end; it’s why I finished reading. I knew things had to look up.

So, my last words are this. Surround yourself with people who care and you can depend on. Sherae, Julian, and Simon are the perfect group of friends.

Don’t judge someone by what you see on the outside. Everyone is going through their own struggles, and you just really don’t know how bad it could be for them. Something you say could be the last thing they need to push them over the edge. Just Keep Holding On.