Stuart Reid

Stuart Reid is 43 years old, going on 14. Throughout his early life he was dedicated to being immature, having fun and getting into trouble. Occasionally, after scoring a goal in the playground Stuart was known to celebrate by kissing lollypop ladies, and he once broke his nose by running into a lamp-post with his jumper pulled up over his head. Although not musically gifted, Stuart has the ability to play music using only the pumping noises from his armpits.

Stuart once lobbied the British Olympic Committee to have ‘The Wedgie’ recognised as a national sport, creating both the ‘Giving’ and ‘Receiving’ categories and the scoring system with (skid) marks for technical merit, artistic impression and the durability/rippability of the underwear.

He is allergic to ties; blaming them for stifling the blood flow to his imagination throughout his twenties and thirties. Stuart was forced to spend the next 25 years being boring, professional and corporate. His fun-loving attitude was further suppressed by the weight of career responsibility, as a business manager in the retail and hospitality industries in the UK and Dubai.

Stuart’s legs suffer from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) which means he has to wear shorts at all times. His mid-life crisis offered a return to immature madness involving bogies, bums, burps, songs about poo and running about his snow covered garden in only his pyjamas.

Stuart has been married for nearly twenty years. He has two children, a superman outfit and a spiky haircut.