Stealing Heaven

Reader reviewed by Nian

Trust me when I say I REALLY (notice the caps?) wanted to like this
book. So much that I broke my biggest rule when it comes to books: Give
the novel your attention until halfway through, and if you still cant
tolerate it, just skip over the rest to read the damn ending. Yes,
thats my messy philosophy on intolerable reads. I read Stealing Heaven
all the way through, though. Every damn word. Its because I know other
people are so blown awayokay, maybe not blown away, per seby
Elizabeth Scott, and having dismissed her previous two books as utter
disappointments (particularly Bloom), I REALLY wanted to know
what the fuss was about. And guess what? I STILL dont get it. Theres
nothing special, short for her creative mind. But isnt everyone
creative if they put their minds to it?


Ill at least give her props for that. Imagination. I was just
thinking about writing a story about a girl with a kleptomaniac for a
mother, and then Im browsing through amazon.com
and bam, I see the little blurb for this book. I liked the premise.
Very catchy: My name is Danielle. Im eighteen. Ive been stealing
things for as long as I can remember. It breaks another one of my book
rules: Dont even attempt to read a book that starts off with Hello! My name is ____ and I am currently ____ years old!.
Desperate, pathetic much? But the stealing part totally caught my
attention, so I went and borrowed it. (Buying books really depresses me
because blurbs lie. They tend to make things sound more interesting
than they are, and when I hate the book, I would have realized Id just
spent a good $15 on a damn hardcover that I didnt even enjoy. So now,
I stick to borrowing them, which explains why Im always so slow on
reading the new releases.)


Anyway, I enjoyed the first few chapters. They were serious and
provided a clear picture of the thiefs path. Even from the beginning,
however, I was only able to like Dani a little bit because Elizabeth
Scott turned her into an annoying girl who sighed every other page over
her mother (was this really necessary?).Its like this with other
Scotts protagonists: they never really DO anything until its too late
for me to start liking them. How can I show an ounce of sympathy or
appreciation like that? I mean, even if youre an author taking the
long road of discovery for your character, she cant complain and be a
pathetic mess all pages long, right? Another Scott signature:
repetition. Maybe no one has told her yet, but the repetition is SO
obvious. I didnt even have to re-read certain parts to see that fault.
Its like, right there. The words were trying to test my patience
again! Important things need to be mentioned, but PLEASE do not make a
habit of overdoing it. I have a hawks eye when it comes to criticizing
people about thisyet, I know I go and do the very same thing when I
write my essays and stories. But Scott has an editor and a publisher,
right? So, no excuses.


Things went downhill when Greg came into the picture. I liked that
he was so casual at first and broke most stereotypes for what a cop
represented, but oh my god, he drove me insane. Hes such a plastic cut
out character that I rolled my eyes at his entrances. The lines Scott
made him say was flat and forced. The latter being the worst problem.
Things that Greg said didnt match his personalitythe author put it
down just for the sake of strolling the conversation along. Some people
WILL notice the awkwardness of the words. Also, I just cant imagine
anyone talking like that. That meaning a twenty-something
year old guy trying to impersonate a friendly and innocent ten year
old. Because thats exactly how Greg appeared to me, despite Scotts
intention of turning him into this breezy cop that said what he wanted
and did what he wanted. He was just childish. And the fact that Dani
got her share of forced lines didnt help the matter: I could
practically see her transforming into this ditzy blonde (no offense to
blondes; Im just going with the wrongly pinned stereotypes here) when
they conversed. Im sure that wasnt the effect Scott was trying to
create. If that waswell, consider me speechless.


I just couldnt deal after that. It was unpleasant enough with the
flawed writing/editing and a protagonist that I didnt care for (yes,
once again)but on top of it, a failed male lead? That was just too
much for me. His childish speech got on my nerves, Danis lack of
doing something until the very end (see the connection to Lauren in Bloom,
anyone?) just made me rattle my head continuously, and those sighs that
escaped my lungs when I continually flipped the pages just made me more
aware of the fact that I was in for major disappointment. The slow
pacingIll even give this a title: a la Scott, because its yet
another of Ms. Elizabeths signatureswas just an additional blow to my
already tedious day.