Then You Were Gone

This is one confusing book. I had no idea how to feel about it, well, I still don't. I'm not sure what to think of the main character. Should I sympathize with Adrienne? Mostly I don't understand why was she so upset when Dakota disappeared.

Adrienne and Dakota were friends since they were kids but Dakota suddenly drops her without explaining why. Adrienne is an average student with a small group of friends when her former best friend Dakota vanished. Everything is just weirder since Dakota called her a couple of days before disappearing. Some thought she killed herself some didn't but everyone eventually moved on while Adrienne couldn't let it go.

I wouldn't have any problems with A being obsessed Dakota treated her right. But she didn't. Dakota was an awful friend which Adrienne didn't see. Dakota was always this enigmatic girl who did what she wanted all the time and I think she A wanted to be just like her which we can see when she starts wearing similar clothes and starts acting like Dakota.

A starts ignoring her boyfriend and starts hanging around Julian, Dakota's boyfriend, trying to find out what happened. Why was she so determined to find the truth when Dakota was such an awful friend? Well, I think every one of us had a friend who wasn't actually a friend and we desperately tried to please them even though they were never good for us. They eventually find out what really happened and I'm glad they at least have each other in the end.

(Source: I borrowed a copy of this book.)
Adrienne and Dakota haven’t spoken in two years. Dakota has been off singing with her band somewhere, but now she’s missing. The Police found her car, and a possible suicide note, but nobody knows where she actually is.

Now Adrienne is feeling guilty – because Dakota left her a voicemail that she never answered, and feeling sad because she and Dakota were no longer friends.

What really happened to Dakota? And how long will it take Adrienne to come to terms with the fact that Dakota isn’t here anymore?


I’m not really sure what to make of this book. I enjoyed reading it, but now that I’ve got to the end, I’m wondering what the point was.
Adrienne basically spends the whole book feeling guilty, and wondering what happened to Dakota. Wearing Dakota’s clothes, and doing her make-up like Dakota used to. Spending time with Dakota’s sort-of boyfriend Julian, and feeling a bit depressed. She ignores her own boyfriend, forgets her school work, and generally does very little (other than smoke).
The strange thing is that Adrienne and Dakota hadn’t even spoken in two years! Whether this made things better or worse for Adrienne I’m not sure, and why they stopped being friends exactly I’m not sure either.

This books focus seems to be more on how Adrienne feels about Dakota being missing, than what actually happened to Dakota, and the things that Adrienne does in an effort to work through how she really felt about her, and how she can grieve for her, which basically involves a lot of doing nothing other than wearing black and ignoring her friends.

Other than the Dakota storyline, there were a few brief snatches of romance, but nothing much, and Adrienne also spent a little time doing her own sort of investigation into Dakota’s life, which doesn’t really seem to get her very far. There is one small mystery that Adrienne solves, but even that feels a little lack-luster.

All that being said, I did enjoy this book, and it was a quick read. I also liked that the book had a satisfying ending – at the end of the book we know exactly what happened to Dakota – thank you Lauren Strasnick for this!

Overall; an enjoyable YA, focusing on being the one left behind.
7 out of 10.

Then You Were Gone was a quick read, I couldn't put it down and had to figure out exactly what was going on with Dakota. I couldn't decide if I really thought she was dead, and if so, was it a suicide, or was it something sinister? I was glued to Adrienne, the main character and her grief, inner monologues, her inexplicable need to dress and act like her (ex?) friend Dakota.
I liked how Then You Were Gone had snippets from the past friendship of Dakota and Adrienne, showing where Adrienne's feelings came from and helping me to understand that there was something deeper there for her, and trying to understand what made Dakota tick and what exactly ended their friendship. For Adrienne, to me it seemed that it was unresolved and a feeling of guilt, because she got that phone call from Dakota and she didn't know why she was calling, and then came the rumors she was missing and the speculation that she had killed herself.
Adrienne's relationship with Lee was one that I haven't really read one quite like though. I liked Lee for the most part though, because he treated Adrienne very well while she was being herself, but then it did seem to me like he jumped ship pretty quickly and did some questionable things... Not that I am saying that the way that Adrienne treated him was okay, but still. It seemed like a character discrepancy to me because it doesn't seem like something he would do.
While we have the weird relationship between her and Lee, and the lost friendship and almost worship of Adrienne towards Dakota, Lauren Strasnick also paints a beautiful picture of true frienship between Adrienne and Kate. Kate is a truly likeable character and I appreciate how she supports Adrienne and is there for her and pushes her at the right time. She also has a mouth on her that provides some tension relief for both the reader and Adrienne at the right moments.
Although this book is a quick read and relatively short, don't let it fool you, it packs a lot of plot, a lot of emotion, a healthy pinch of sarcasm and humor, and explores the workings of friendships and relationships and the effects of grief on your life.
Then You Were Gone is for mature teens, because it has drug use, underage drinking, cursing, sex and foreplay and other mature themes that I can't mention without spoiling the plot... Which disturbed me by the way, the unmentioned, but I totally think that it is an important issue to address... And see the ways NOT to handle it.
Bottom line: Quick and hard hitting story about grief and friendship, both the loss of and the true definition of it.