I Can't Even Think Straight

Kai has so many roles he plays with others, such as a good grandson, a reliable best friend, and romantic backup, but who is Kai to himself? He is ready to come out at school but is being pressured by his best friend, Matt, who is closeted because of his conservative parents. Kai agrees to this but isn’t happy with this decision, and suddenly, there’s a rumor spreading that Kai and Matt are dating, so Matt has started acting differently. Kai has another best friend, Vass, who is nonbinary and out; they think that Matt is a bad influence. Kai writes in order to get his emotions out, but now his emotions are in the real world, and he doesn’t know how to deal with this balance.
What I Liked: There were fun references throughout this story to another one of Dean Atta’s books, The Black Flamingo, which was nice to revisit. This book is quick-paced, and you’ll miss things if you go through it too quickly. This is definitely one that you’ll want to take your time going through to ensure that you give yourself a minute to process the heavy topics that come up.
This book tackles many complicated topics, such as coming out, family, race, and masculinity. These topics are handled with honesty and with intense emotionality. The structure of this book feels as if you are reading a teenage boy’s diary and are privy to his private thoughts. Due to this, there are moments in which you feel that you shouldn’t know the information that you do; these moments do allow you to feel like you are being immersed in Kai’s world.
This book does a great job of handling relationships and the complexity of relationships, especially what might arise if people aren’t out. It was interesting to see Kai come to terms with his feelings for Matt and how to navigate a breakup with someone because of these feelings. It was also great to see Matt figure out how to embrace who he is, even though he can’t share his sexuality with his family.
Final Verdict: I Can’t Even Think Straight is a fascinating coming-of-age story told in verse that is perfect for those who enjoyed The Queen Bees of Tybee County, If This Gets Out, or any of Dean Atta’s other books. This book is perfect for teens who are questioning their sexuality and/or are navigating coming out to their friends and family.