Review Detail

"Helping kids cope with bullies, peer pressure"

Deanna Miller pitches herself as a graduate of the school of hard knocks.

Years of peer ridicule made her see another side to the bullying attacks.
She has taken those sad years and turned her hurt into a new book, a guide
for teens who are the objects of bullying and ridicule.

"Time to Tell 'Em Off!" helps teens take a look at themselves and learn
to like what they see, instead of hearing and believing hurtful words
from others.

Ms. Miller developed the theory bullies pick on others because of their
own shortcomings and faults. Bullies are likely insecure themselves and
can only feel better about themselves at the expense of someone else.

"Seeing someone else get upset and lose confidence is exhilarating for
them, an emotional high," Ms. Miller writes.

She says keeping hurt feelings trapped inside is a dangerous side effect
of being bullied. If young people listen often enough to hurtful words,
the words begin to make sense, and teens can easily slide into a pattern
of thinking they are not worth being liked or loved. Sadness that becomes
infected is depression, she said. Anger that becomes infected turns to
rage.

Ms. Miller discusses reasons why kids make fun of other kids, and offers
advice on avoiding depression and stopping the ridicule, and learning
to defend one's self.

Ms. Miller's goal is to help teens find ways to manage personal issues,
not lean on other people to fight their battles for them. She urges her
readers to find ways to fight back with words, not with fists.

The guide suggests finding ways to find inner peace and strength, including
turning to prayer, the Bible, and God.

"Do whatever makes you feel good about yourself, but choose activities
that stimulate personal growth, not stunt it," she writes.

She also encourages turning to professionals like psychologists if necessary.

"There is no shame in seeking help, but there is shame in letting (infected
anger) beat you when you could have taken steps to heal it," she says.

At 39 pages, the book can be printed out and slipped to a notebook. There,
tucked in a backpack, it can be easily and confidentially reviewed, even
during the course of a school day when a teen might need a friendly inner-voice
and a boost of confidence.

Re-printed with the permission of the author and the reviewer.