Valentines Are the Worst!

Valentines Are the Worst is a funny, slightly chaotic picture book that follows Gilbert the Goblin, who absolutely refuses to get into anything related to Valentine’s Day. He’s not interested in cards, hugs, or anything remotely sweet, he’d rather be doing literally anything else, like eating tacos. But things take a turn when he runs into a group of overly cheerful cupids who are determined to spread love whether he likes it or not. From there, the story turns into Gilbert trying to escape while everything around him gets more ridiculous.

What I liked about this one is that it doesn’t try to be overly sweet about the holiday. Instead, it leans into the grumpy attitude, which makes it way funnier, especially for kids who don’t care about Valentine’s Day. When I read this with kids, they thought Gilbert’s reactions were the best part. They were laughing at how dramatic he was and pointing out things in the background that added to the joke. The illustrations really carry a lot of the humor, especially because the reader can sometimes see what’s actually happening before Gilbert does. My favorite part is when he starts going on about what he “loves” after thinking he’s been hit by an arrow, it’s unexpected and kind of flips his whole attitude in a funny way.

There are also a lot of small details that make it more fun the longer you look at it, like the little background moments and the extra touches in the front and back pages. It feels like a book kids can go back to and notice something new each time. If I had one small thing, it’s that the story is pretty simple, but honestly, the humor and visuals make up for it. Overall, it’s a silly, slightly sarcastic take on Valentine’s Day that kids really enjoy, especially the ones who aren’t into all the "mushy" stuff.

Valentines Are the Worst! which is for anyone who pretends they hate Valentine’s Day but secretly just wants tacos and maybe one tiny arrow of affection. Gilbert the Goblin vs. aggressive cupids? Comedy gold. It’s the perfect reminder that even the grumpiest goblin can’t outrun love forever.